Let’s run this one like we want to win it…
For most of my life I’ve assumed that the only person I could depend on was myself, and that while being a Christian means being a part of a church, at the end of the day sole responsibility for me getting through lies at my own feet. There’s some truth in this; ultimately, we all answer to God not for our friends, but for ourselves. But in my life it’s become an excuse to set myself up as a lone ranger. And unfortunately for me, a loner is an easy target.
Basically, I’m finally realizing that I can’t make it on my own. And everyone says that; I’ve said it many, many times before. The thing that’s been troubling me lately is that I’m actually starting to believe it. To be frank, I suck at being a Christian when I try to do it on my own. And I vastly underestimate the effect of my church and my believing friends. But I think I’m becoming convinced that doing well as a Christian only happens as a person commits fully to a community of believers.
I think it’s tempting to want to believe that this neediness invalidates the belief. Like if you can’t do it on your own, then it’s somehow not as good. But that’s silly- the fact that we have to depend on people actually shows, more than anything, how seriously and strongly we believe.
If Christianity came naturally, it would be a pretty unimpressive thing to see someone do it well. Lots of people are good at falling; it’s not an impressive quality. If someone’s good at landing, that’s a completely different thing. Because falling is natural; landing well takes skill. The impressive thing about Christian belief is that you find something that is true and worth doing, but at the same time you find that you’re naturally really bad at it. So what do you do? You make the sorts of choices that will put you in a spot where you can actually succeed at it. Which means that you’re working harder, but it’s worth it because to do this thing, to be a Christian, is the most worthwhile thing the human creature ever undertakes.
When you run a race, it always comes down to the bottom line. No one cares who tried the hardest; the point is to win, and the one with the fastest time is the one who wins. So if running with a pack makes me push myself a little harder, and to run a little faster, shouldn’t I do everything and anything to find a pack to run with? I’m not going to run by myself just to make sure I am running for the right reasons, or because my time is less real if I don’ t do it entirely on my own. Truth is, the only thing that matters is the time. The only thing that matters is following Jesus and making it to the finish line as a good and faithful servant. And if it takes me being in community for me to be able to do that, then I’m going to throw myself into my community with all I’ve got. Because I don’t like being bad at things. And I definitely don’t like the idea of being bad at the most important thing. If I get to choose, I would like to be really good at it. But if that’s not an option, then I would at least like to be less bad at it.
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